Sizzling Sixteen - Not Really Hot Enough for That Title

Pros: Amusing
Cons: A bit too ridiclous, got kind of boring.

The Bottom Line: This book is the one that will make you wonder – is Janet Evanovich going to wrap up the series sometime soon to move on to other things?

As usual, if you don’t know anything about this series, scroll to the end and click on the first book. This is #16 in the series so you’re better starting at the beginning.

Stephanie Plum is a crappy bounty hunter. Ranger is smokin’ hot. Morelli is delicious, but he and Steph can’t seem to hold down a solid relationship. Connie has cleavage and Lula is, well, Lula. Vinnie, however, is a weasel and runs up his gambling debt a bit too high, landing him in some seriously hot water. He needs to get the money or die. Except since he’s been kidnapped, it’s up to Steph, Lula, and Connie to do it. Not easy. And eventually they discover that there’s a bit more going on than Vinnie’s crappy bookie problem…

This book went rather slowly. At least, compared to other Stephanie Plum books, this one was slow. It was just one long, “Where’s Vinnie? Where’s Vinnie?” deal with them sneaking around and trying not to get caught and cruising this boulevard and that street before finally doing something. It kind of dragged from time to time. It wasn’t all that funny, and in some places it got just a little bit too ridiculous. Kind of sounds like a dumb thing to say considering how ridiculous other books have been, but I don’t know…this time…

Hobbits. In a word. Evanovich brings back Mooner (for those that remember him) and he keeps yammering on about Hobbit Con and Hobbits start coming out the woodwork. I’d also like to add that I think Steph, Connie, and Lula are stupid. I realize if they’d gone to the cops, we wouldn’t have a book, and that their asinine plans are supposed to be funny, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. And I can’t believe they gave up a ton of money when certain guys didn’t even have Vinnie. Considering everything they’d already been through, the threat the guys made was a pretty crappy one (especially after what happened later in the book). And I’m really tired of Stephanie ditching Ranger's guys and being so dumb when it comes to catching skips.

It’s amusing, but not the best, and considering some of the things that happened near the end, I’m starting to wonder if Evanovich is running out of juice. That’s fine if she is. I mean, geez people, she’s done 16 books (if you don’t include the between-the-numbers ones). I wonder if maybe she’ll wrap it up soon with Stephanie Plum. But only time can tell.

3.5 stars.

NT

Originally posted 2010 on Epinions.com

Finger Lickin' Fifteen - Saucy!

Pros: Amusing read

Cons: Some of Stephanie's dumbness.

The Bottom Line: Something fun to read for those times when you're bored or want something fun to read.

Welcome to Stephanie Plum book #15.  I'd actually read this book a few days after it came out.  But then I forgot to review it, so here we are a year later with #16 due out in a week.  I read it again.  It's fine because for the life of me I couldn't remember what this one was about.  I just remembered Lula and a lot of barbeque sauce.

Lula, as it turns out, has been witness to a murder.  A beheading, really.  And now the killers want to snuff out their only witness.  Except they're pretty bad at, well, everything, so in the process they just end up with more witnesses.  Now Lula's trying to keep her behind (all of it) from getting taken out, and of course Stephanie has to help.  Meanwhile Ranger's security services are being compromised and he needs Steph's help too.  Except helping Ranger might be a lot spicier than helping Lula, especially since Steph and Morelli are on the rocks...

I pretty much read this novel in a day because it's fast, fun, and not too involved.  It's pretty much a day in the life of Stephanie Plum, and it's been long enough that I was as tired of Stephanie's dumbness as I'd recently been getting.  But that doesn't mean I don't remember.  Steph is notorious for making moronic decisions when it comes to her skips (the people who don't turn up in court after posting bail).  Twice in this book she allows people to go into the house or another room for some reason while standing there, la de da, oblivious to the fact that the skip is getting away.  At least the second time she acknowledged how stupid she was being, which helped to redeem her a little bit.  However, I still think she's dumb for even entertaining the idea that Morelli would let Joyce Barnhardt touch him without a HAZMAT suit.  Come on, the guy likes sex but he's not about to jump into bed with something that questionable.  He's not stupid.

It's pretty much all Lula drama this time, so if Lula annoys you, sorry.  If not, then you'll be in for some giggles.  I laughed aloud a few times because I just haven't read any Stephanie Plum-ness for a while.  There are plenty of good bits to enjoy, and I do like (from a writerly perspective) how Evanovich takes typical non-verb words and makes them into verbs, like "I fobbed my way into the garage." as in with a key fob.

Of course, there's plenty of Ranger goodness, and that's really hard not to enjoy.  In fact, you have to be dead not to enjoy Ranger.  All in all though, it's a good time.  All for fun, so don't take it seriously.  Just enjoy the ride.  And the barbeque sauce.

Ok, maybe not the barbeque sauce...

NT

Originally posted 2010 on Epinions.com

Fearless Fourteen - More Like Forgettable Fourteen

Pros: Bob the dog is always fun; a potato gun.
Cons: Lack of get-up-and-go, overall just "meh."

The Bottom Line: Once you put it back on the shelf it's easy to forget it's there, or that you even read it. Hey, that's what happened to me.

Janet Evanovich has now written a crazy fourteen Stephanie Plum books and I think she’s getting tired of her main character.

If you’re not familiar with the whole Stephanie Plum bounty hunter girl thing, then I recommend you try out the first book to see where it all started, as well as understand who the characters are and where they’ve come from. Otherwise, read on.

Life as usual for Stephanie Plum. When Loretta, a cousin of Morelli’s, has to go back to jail after skipping, Stephanie gets suckered into babysitting Loretta’s teenage boy. Fine. Except now Ranger wants her to help him run security for famous-ish singer Brenda. Okay, fine. Er, now Loretta is missing, and not by choice. Not so fine. Dom, Loretta’s slightly crazed brother, serves Morelli with death threats and people keep breaking into Morelli’s house. Really not fine. There’s also the possibility of millions hidden in Morelli’s house. That could be fine...but it could also be fatal. Dang.

It sounds interesting, I know, but it’s not, sadly. I expected more from this novel than I got, even though I’m getting the sense that Evanovich is getting bored with the whole Stephanie Plum thing, especially since she’s expected to crank one out as fast as possible to keep readers happy (a normal thing to do as a writer, for the most part, but still easily tiresome). Not a whole lot happens that’s worthy of my memory, and usually I soak up silly book facts like a sponge. The book felt a little disjointed and more like Evanovich was just slapping stuff down on paper to fork over to her editor.

The plot is definitely not all that exciting. Straightforward and lacking any real mystery, with only a handful of giggle-worthy spots that include a potato gun and Bob the dog. Don’t let the mention of a monkey fool you—that part wasn’t all that funny. Brenda the singer could have lead Stephanie into a lot more trouble, especially since some dialogue from Ranger gave the impression that Stephanie was going to have a really difficult time with her, but instead Brenda comes off as stupid, pointless, and annoying from time to time. Even Brenda’s stalker could have been more interesting and turned into a good subplot, but instead it falls flat and while that could have been made into something funnier, it wasn’t. I read through this novel in about a day, mostly because I was bored and I figured finishing it would allow me time for more rewarding things.

The best parts are probably just the banter and sexual tension between Stephanie and Morelli and Stephanie and Ranger. The Lula and Tank story could have been better as well, but like I said, it just seemed like Evanovich cranked something out to shut up all the fans (understandable). Still, despite the lack of laughs and mundane plot, there are still some unresolved issues which easily means there will likely be a #15 somewhere in the future. Hopefully avid fans are willing to wait in order to give Evanovich proper time to come up with something really exciting and hilarious. I know I am. Besides, I need that down time to read other things anyway.

NT

Originally posted 2008 on Epinions.com

Lean Mean Thirteen - RangeMan Underwear? Yes Please...

Pros: Fun, dangerous, sneaky, and delicious (in more ways than one)
Cons: Somewhat typical of the Plum series

The Bottom Line: What you read is what you get.

Janet Evanovich started out writing Romance. A lot of writers tend to cross into another genre from time to time, and when Evanovich stepped over that invisible line into Mystery, we got Stephanie Plum. Bounty hunter extraordinaire (sort of) with several hot men on her heels, a knack for being in the wrong places at the wrong times, the right places at the right times, getting downright lucky, and always getting a happy ending. Just the way we all like it (right?).

This is the thirteenth novel in the series (hence the title), and if you want to make the most sense of the characters, I suggest reading at least the first novel. Doing so is also likely to suck you into reading the rest of them, which would be fine, since they’re all pretty much hilarious and a good time.

This time Stephanie has agreed to do a tiny favor for Ranger – plant a bug in Dickie Orr’s office. Actually, it’s a big favor since Dickie is Steph’s ex-husband and huge jackass and every time Steph sees him, she’s likely to punch him in the mouth. But she manages to get the job done (with a few extra violent perks) and all seems well with the world. Until Dickie goes missing and Stephanie finds herself the main suspect. Is he dead or alive? And was the firm he was with even legitimate? Er...and why is everything on fire?

That’s the barebones lowdown. You’ll have to read the book to find out the rest – like whether or not Stephanie hooks up with Ranger or if another one of her cars goes kablooie.

Basically it’s your typical Stephanie Plum book. At the very least this time Stephanie manages to balance stupidity with smarts. For example, she’s still too dumb to figure out when you cuff someone you cuff both hands immediately. You do not cuff one hand and then stand around chatting with your FTA. That’s getting really old and annoying. Or when someone comes to your apartment and threatens you big time, you call the freaking cops or Ranger’s men the second you get the chance – you don’t let the guy get away. This time, though she, ah, does those things like a moron, she actually welcomes the security that Ranger’s guys bring by following her around instead of getting on an I-am-woman-hear-me-roar ego trip and giving them to slip (only to really, really need them later). That in itself was a nice change.

There isn’t much mystery though. Now when I say that, I mean there aren’t a lot of clues for you to put together and try and solve yourself. Rather, you’ll be busy thinking, “Where’s Dickie?” and probably wondering what the deal is with the guys at the firm, but it’s not really something you can puzzle through. Instead you find out what happened to Dickie and then get told what the deal is with the firm. It’s all laid out for you, map-style. This may bum some people out but since I’m not exactly an avid mystery reader (though I do really like to piece things together), I don’t much care. It happens.

Your usual crazy escapades with Stephanie are dotted throughout the book, subplots consisting of FTAs. Though those FTAs really do have some quirky things going on. Things you’d never expect. Ever. There are a few parts where you’ll laugh out loud, others where (if you’re a woman or gay) you’d go “Oooh” and envision either Joe or Ranger next to you, um, doing things, and still other places where you may not even be sure what to make of what the heck just happened. Haha.

It’s a good book. Keep going with the series. Plum Lucky is next – and it’s hilarious.

NT

Originally posted 2008 on Epinions.com

Twelve Sharp - Stephanie Plum; Just Call Her " Bait"

Pros: Mmm, sexual tension, a few fresh ideas
Cons: Stephanie's apprehension skills, I question the bad guy's abilities somewhat

The Bottom Line: With this falling a teensy bit flat in my tastes, that makes me hope book #13 will be all the more exciting.

I don’t know when or why Stephanie Plum decided to stop working for Ranger and go back to bounty hunting. I can make some vague guesses (ignoring, of course, the obvious – that the author says so), but overall I sure as heck wouldn’t have. Tch. Forget that. Nice, comfy job in a little cubby running background checks on people. I will take that job now, especially if Ranger and a free car comes with it. Dear sweet Lord, what I wouldn’t give…

Don’t tell me you don’t know who Stephanie Plum is? Let me guess, a friend told you about this book and so you’ve wandered into this area for some info. All right, well you’ve come to the right place, but let me be the first to tell you – you’re at the end of a series my friend. That’s right, end of the line. You see, Stephanie Plum is a bounty hunter. She used to sell lingerie, but that’s a long story. It includes her cousin Vinnie and a duck. That’s an interesting story. She fights crime and sucks at it – well sort of. That’s, well, 12 stories, including this one. Your best bet is to at least read the first book where you can get the rundown on all the basic characters. The author, Janet Evanovich, recaps the essentials in the novels, but trust me, it’s a lot more fun to be there when the details all go down.

So Stephanie Plum is back on the job, picking up bad guys and dumping them at the police station to earn herself some kind of living. It may not be a decent living, but it’s better than nothing. Life seems casual – semi-boyfriend Joe Morelli does his cop thing, Bob the dog eats everything, Ranger slips in and out like smoke and then *poof!* it’s off to Miami. Lula wears two sizes or more too small, Connie paints her nails, and Stephanie’s mother makes pot roast. All is good.

Except now some crazy woman dressed in black is stalking Stephanie, and she’s got a little piece of information that has the potential of putting anyone into shock. If that’s not bad enough, a certain little girl disappears off the face of the map, and yet another psycho is tailing Steph. While she’s giving Morelli heart palpitations, Ranger has made a few surprise moves on his own. It’s going to take everyone’s efforts to take down the new mystery man, even if it means taking a few bullets.

Ooooh – exciting, isn’t it? *shrug* Well sort of. I think the part I liked the most was the sexual tension. Big fan. Otherwise I was sort of let down. I guess I expected awesome times from this book and failed to get them. I won’t lie – I liked the premise, I liked the plot, and I liked the Ranger goodness, but there were just aspects that had me cocking my head with a bit of a grimace, thinking, “Yeah, but I dunno…”

I think it may just have seemed a bit farfetched for me. It’s because of who you find out the culprit is and compare him to Ranger’s character and somehow it doesn’t make sense that he’s able to slip past him so many times. Ok, there are times when yes, it makes sense, but then there are other things that just boggle me. Ranger not knowing he’s being followed? Knowing this guy is so good and yet not anticipating certain (what seem obvious to me) aspects? In fact, I already had one (very correct) idea pegged down at page 214 when the guy first shows up. Does that make me smarter than all the characters in the book or was it just obvious? That sort of thing just kind of annoys me later on in the book. Same goes for the new girl they hired at the office. I knew who she was within moments of her working there while everyone else was saying, “Hmm, gee, I get this weird feeling from her…whatcha think it is?” Sheesh.

Another problem I have is Stephanie’s screw-ups. I don’t know how many more of them I can take. She puts one cuff on a guy, chit-chats, and then the guy bolts and she loses her, what? 20th pair of cuffs? Freaking come on! Cuff both hands behind the back right away and you won’t have all these problems of looking like a total moron. Right, it was funny the first four books, but now it’s just downright annoying. I like Stephanie, she’s great, but her ignorance is gnawing away at me now. Or with another skip she goes in with Lula and the two screw around and therefore screw up. Then they do it yet again. How thick can you be?

I wasn’t laughing out loud with this book, just cracking smiles here and there and making “ooh!” giddy noises when Ranger waltzed onto the page. One of the things that I didn’t ever get tired of was Stephanie losing a car, simply because they went belly-up in so many ways. Ok, most of the time it was via fire, but the ways the fire started were always rather unique. I don’t mind a car going ka-blooie. Too bad there wasn’t any of that in this book.

So what did I like besides the Ranger/Morelli alpha male struggle for dominance? Sally Sweet dances his way back into the book with some fantastic thongs, though sadly he didn’t get much personal time on the pages. Joyce Barnhardt getting zapped again simply rules, and some of the spontaneous things that occur right in front of Steph and Lula are great. And as I said, I did enjoy the overall idea of the book, plot-wise and such, even if I did have several issues with the bad guy.

As with all the books, you’ll find it written in first person with Steph doing all the narration, which is always worded for the most fun factor and that is something I know I’ll never get tired of, not when she’s sashaying out of rooms and risking comments with erotic overtones. It wasn’t a bad book, it gets a solid four stars, even though I’m sure you’d thought I’d give it three, what with all the fussing I did. But hey, it’s Stephanie Plum – even without sheer awesomeness, it’s hard not to enjoy.

So…what will book #13 hold? Looks like we may have to wait a while…

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

Eleven On Top - Life is Like a Jelly Doughnut

Pros: Finally, the book where Stephanie doesn't take sh*t from anyone (or at least less)
Cons: Bit of that Scooby-doo ending

The Bottom Line: I wanna work for Ranger...that would so damn sweet...

It’s because of Stephanie Plum and the last two books that I’ve had an insane craving for doughnuts. This morning mom went out and got some.

Thank God for small favors.

Except now I’m ready to pop and I’ve basically undone every step I took on the treadmill for 4 miles yesterday. Oh well. Did I get a jelly doughnut out of it? Dang skippy I did. There are still 3 doughnuts left since there are 3 of us and we got 12 doughnuts. I’m already trying to scheme my way into getting the chocolate creme filled one. Am I a horrible person or what?

If you’re confused by all this, fear not. You seemed to have found book #11 of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels. Stephanie is a bond enforcement agent (bounty hunter), and not a very good one. Well, ok, she’s good in that she gets hella lucky all the time, but not so good because the rest of the time her court date skippers slip away from her or she ends up rolling in garbage or dealing with naked guys or getting her car blown up. Someone should start a tally on that last bit. There’s no real need to go in order, but there are a few books that would be much better if you read something before them. If you want the full story on how Stephanie became a bounty hunter, read One for the Money. If you want to know the full story on the deal that goes down relating to this book, read Two for the Dough. If you don’t mind jumping in and spoiling a few things, read on.

That’s it. Stephanie Plum has officially quit her job as a bounty hunter. She’s rolled in garbage for the last time wrestling with some jerk. She’s been shot at, spat at, attacked by geese, humped by a pack of dogs, wrestled with a Vaseline-covered naked guy, shot a few people herself, been stalked by homicidal maniacs, and has gone through more cars than Big Foot at a demolition derby. So she quits. Enough with the wackos, freaks, idiots, and killers. Time to get a job at the button factory. Or Kan Klean dry cleaning. Or Cluck-in-a-Bucket. Or the personal products plant.

Or with Ranger. *involuntary shiver of giddiness*

While Stephanie hops from one job to another, it looks like someone thought to be dead is back and wants revenge. Steph is left with threatening notes, body parts, bombs, all of which seem to match up with the disappearance of four men and leaves her semi-boyfriend vice cop Joe Morelli with a broken leg and her trying to figure out the connection before she goes ka-boom with her next vehicle. But which is worse? Possibly getting blown to smithereens or looking like an eggplant in her sister’s slowly-going-psychotic wedding?

I wonder how many times a month Stephanie has to testify in court? Random ponderings aside, I liked this one. Sure, Steph isn’t out chasing down guys (ok, well she does on occasion, when Lula asks her to), but the tension between her, Ranger, and Morelli makes up for a lot of it. Making up for the rest of it is the fiascos that go on at the different jobs she takes. You never see half of this stuff coming. Actually I never saw any of it coming. Ok, maybe one or two things, but nothing major. Even the little things were great, like Bob sleeping in the bathtub. What dog does that??

As usual, the book is written in first person, so we get every detail from Steph’s perspective, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love how people, places, and situations are described, I love the metaphors she uses and the binds she gets into. There aren’t many new characters that come into this, which is fine. I’m getting a tad burnt out on crazy new people, as much as I love them. Even usual characters take a bit of time on the back-burner here, such as Grandma Mazur and Lula. We hardly even see Connie and Vinnie. What we do get is a lot of Morelli and Ranger. And you can’t not enjoy a lot of those two, Ranger especially. *drools*

So what are the problems with this book? Not much at all, actually. I’m fine with the plot, though things don’t come together until the very end, it seems a little far fetched. The bad guy, though you won’t ever guess it, seems out of place. I actually felt bummed at who it was. Though it was a total surprise, it wasn’t an “Oh wow!” one. Sort of mediocre I guess. And then there’s the Scooby-doo bit where for some unknown reason the bad guy decides to spill the beans on everything. What happened, what the motive was, “wait here until I come back to kill you,” etc. I’m willing to let a few times go, but not so much this time. Sure, I suspend my disbelief and I suppose I could even stretch it to sheer ego, but otherwise I don’t see why the killer would bother at all. However, as cut off as it may have seemed, I did like the last little bit at the end. Stephanie Plum – no longer taking shit from anyone.

Finally!

4.5 stars.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

Ten Big Ones - Plums, Doughnuts, and Diets

Pros: Lula sitting on people, Sally Sweet, the Batcave
Cons: Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am ending

The Bottom Line: ...It's Stephanie Plum. What more do you want?

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t read one more Fear Street book for fear I would implode or something. So I had to move on to much greener pastures.

My name is Nicole. Not Stephanie Plum. I don’t have a cousin named Vinnie. In fact, I don’t have any cousins, which means I have no one in the bail bond business to blackmail for a job. I have no job. That also means I don’t have cars blowing up all the time on me. Though I did get in a wreck last month so I’m still without a vehicle. But at least I don’t have psychos chasing me around. Then again that means I don’t have a hot vice cop named Joe Morelli to protect me. Same goes for an ex-Navy SEAL named Ranger. My life is a lot more boring than Stephanie’s.

The only thing I have in common with Stephanie is that she’s a character created by Janet Evanovich. I’m not a character, but I am a writer. Except I’m just not published. Yet. But enough about me. Let’s know more about Stephanie.

Nachos or a sub? Those are the things Stephanie and Lula are thinking about when a guy known as the Red Devil comes flying out of the deli, having just held it up, the situation ending in his escape and yet another one of Stephanie’s vehicles aflame. The words “It’s not my fault” are becoming standard in Stephanie’s vocabulary. Her semi-boyfriend and cop Joe Morelli is going to have a stroke over her at some point, and she just amuses the Batman-like bounty hunter (among other things) Ranger. At least she can get some satisfaction out of being able to ID the Red Devil.

Except that’s not a good thing either. It turns out he’s part of a rather nasty gang, a group Stephanie manages to screw up and get into deeper, leading to the introduction of a contract on her head and a man named Junkman taking it up. And Junkman does his killing with flair. Crap. There’s nowhere for Stephanie to hide without endangering her family and friends – except…dare she say it? Dare she even think it – the Batcave?

I’m tempted to do a lookup on Ranger’s soap in the case that it really exists and I can find out what Ranger is supposed to smell like. Shut up. I know I have issues. I acknowledge my insanity. No matter – because at least my life isn’t as nuts as Stephanie’s, though in some ways I wish it were. Definitely more exciting than living here in Illinois where the land is flat, the cornfields are empty, the trees have gone into hibernation, and I sit on my ass and dream impossible dreams.

This book is much mellower than some of its predecessors. I wasn’t cracking up at every turn, but that didn’t mean I was less interested. Hey, when stuff like the Batcave is involved, it’s hard not to be interested. She still does her apprehensions, still has Lula to randomly jump people, and still has Joe to deal with. Sometimes Stephanie’s stupidity can be annoying, but here it’s a little less annoying. Probably because she’s not as stupid as she’s been in the past. She still needs to get used to the gun factor, and ease up on Joe some when he just wants her to be safe.

All in first person, Stephanie’s perspective, as usual. Janet Evanovich is a woman after my own heart. Finally someone else who freely uses the words “mosey,” “hork” and other things. No one else I know uses those in their vocabulary. I use them all the time. Ok, maybe not hork because I don’t exactly have the need to use it, but I enjoy mosey and sashay and such.

The end resolves itself really quickly and has a very brief resolution. I wish both of them were a little longer, maybe with a little more umph to them or something. I know, it’s hard to top what actually does happen when it comes to Stephanie’s rescuer, and in some ways it even seems a little over the top. I just wanted more in terms of length, maybe Stephanie getting mean, something. Not a semi deus ex machina thing going on. I seem to be running across a lot of those endings these days…

Oh well. At least it wasn’t a Scooby-doo ending. Though the situation didn’t really allow for one. Still, I’m entertained and that makes me happy.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

To the Nines - Stephanie Plum Has More Than Nine Lives

Pros: Change of pace in plot, issues with Ranger's Merry Men
Cons: Where were the good times in Vegas? Tiny letdown.

The Bottom Line: Just keep on keepin' on.

As weird as it sounds, I couldn’t start this book right away. Steph already has a new car – I do not. I’m frustrated, feeling useless in my own house, and getting fat on microwave pizza. So I put down the Stephanie Plum books, got on the treadmill, and stayed there for 74 minutes, 4 miles, and 550 calories (exactly how many the pizza had). I felt better after that and decided to read R.L. Stine’s Bad Dreams for a brief change of pace, even though I was ODing on Fear Street books.

Now I’m ready to get back in the saddle with Stephanie.

If you have no idea who Stephanie is, then it’s a good bet you don’t know who Janet Evanovich is. She’s the author of the Stephanie Plum novels, where Steph is a bounty hunter for her cousin Vinnie’s bail bonds company. She got there by blackmailing him (it involves a “romantic relationship with a duck”), and now has a Batman-quality guy named Ranger as a mentor and vice cop Joe Morelli as a hot ticket love interest. Except there’s always someone who wants to kill her. There’s always gotta be a downside, doesn’t there?

We begin the book with Stephanie going for a roll in ze hay (and by hay I mean a fat guy covered in Vaseline). When she gets back to the office, she’s assigned a new task; help Ranger find a man named Samuel Singh. Singh was working at a place called TriBro and went missing several days ago, and if he’s not found, Vinnie becomes a laughing stock for being the first to screw up a visa bond. Ranger’s all about Singh, but Steph would much rather find Boo, the little dog that went missing along with Singh. Of course, all her snooping gets her into trouble with someone she ends up naming the “Carnation Killer.” Not someone you’d want to be friendly with. Her on/off boyfriend, Joe Morelli isn’t pleased with any of this, and Ranger goes as far as setting bodyguards around her – which makes for some interesting situations when Steph gets a lead that takes her, Connie, and Lula to Las Vegas.

Actually, considering I knew she was going to Vegas from the back of the book, I expected some good stuff. But I was sadly disappointed. For having Connie and Lula along I was expecting some crazy situations, but they weren’t there that long and there were just a few things to be amused by. I mean, it’s Vegas but we get more action in Jersey? Sad. So sad. Atlantic City was more fun. Maybe they should have brought Grandma Mazur…

You’d think Steph would be safe with a bunch of Ranger’s Merry Men around her (as she calls them), but she still manages to get into trouble. How she does so is always interesting and the way she goes through these guys is pretty great. The whole chase throughout this book makes for a decent change simply for the fact that it isn’t your typical trial skipper that Steph has to go after, and what made for an even bigger relief was that there wasn’t any other skipper she had to go after and was trying to do so throughout the entire book. I mentioned in the last book, Hard Eight, that those kinds of issues were starting to drive me nuts.

As usual the book is written in first person from Steph’s point of view. That’s the best way for these stories to be told. And yes, you will have to do that whole suspend your disbelief thing because weird stuff goes on in this book that probably wouldn’t happen in real life, or at least happen in the way it does in the book. We don’t get many new characters in this book aside from Ranger’s boys and the bad guys.

And speaking of bad guys, will you be able to guess who the bad guy is? Possibly. I had my thumb pegged on a specific few people, finally narrowed down to one once we find out what the deal is. Of course, you won’t be able to figure out what the deal is – I sure didn’t – but as for the head honcho in everything, if you think like I do and know what everyone tends to do in their mystery stories more often than not, then yes, you’ll have it. Maybe Steph needs my insight – then she may not get into these situations… Still, the last bit she gets snagged up in was exciting and will keep you on the edge of your seat.

Overall? Mm, four stars again. It’s good, but like I said, I was hoping for more. I think it would have been great if Steph had gone on the roadtrip with Lula. That could have made for some great material. They could have gotten lost, had crazy conversations together or with truck drivers or anyone else, visited a national monument and have something ridiculous happen that gets them thrown out, all kinds of things. Ah well. The story was good, not as plausible as some of the others, but not entirely out of the realm of reality either. Some of you may be doubtful, but I can honestly see something wacko like this going on in real life. People are nuts, so you never know.

Don’t forget – Stephanie Plum is for entertainment purposes only. Any attempt to take this book seriously, plot, characters, or otherwise will result in immediate failure and no fun taken on your part.

NT

Originally posted 2006 on Epinions.com

Hard Eight - Good in the Sack

Pros: The rabbit; score one for Ranger! Cons: Getting tired of the un-catchable FTA

The Bottom Line: (I was reading this in bed this morning.) The book was great - but Andy Bender took it down a notch.

I guess I might as well write the review while I try and figure out a title. Maybe a little Missy Elliott will help inspire me…

Do you know who Stephanie Plum is yet? No? That answer makes me wonder what you’re doing here, hanging out with number 8. But I guess it’s my duty as a reviewer to enlighten you. After all, for all I know your cousin was simply raving about this book and didn’t give you any details. How rude. To the point, Stephanie Plum is a bounty hunter who is constantly finding herself in very sticky situations; people want to kill her, and two very luscious men want to hook up with her. I’m up for the latter part of that. Janet Evanovich, the author, comes up with all these scenarios and has written 12 books so far. #13 is in the works (or just out in hardback – I lack the details). You can start here as Stephanie always briefly explains how she got where she is, but if you want the full story, you’ll have to read at least book #1.

Are we crystal? Good.

Stephanie Plum, not your average bounty hunter, wanted by vice cop Joe Morelli and her mentor and the next Batman, Ranger. Wanted in a good way, at least. Well, maybe good. Stephanie has man issues. When it isn’t those two, it’s going to be the people she’s supposed to cuff and take back to jail so she can get paid. Andy Bender is next on her list, but he’s a pain in the ass and keeps slipping through her fingers. So that’s not going very well either. What makes things better? Going home to have a good dinner.

Of course, that can’t be normal either. Mabel, their next door neighbor, has put up her house as collateral for a bond used by her daughter Evelyn as part of a child custody deal. But Evelyn and her daughter Annie have gone missing. Mabel’s going to lose her house and asks Stephanie to find them. Not exactly Steph’s bag of chips, but she does it as a neighborly sort of thing. No sooner does she start snooping than a man named Eddie Abruzzi show up. Eddie’s got the eyes Ramirez used to have, and that is not a good thing, especially since he wants Steph to keep her nose out of this – or face the consequences. But we wouldn’t have a book to read if she listened, now would we? Time to bring out the killer rabbit…

So what does Eddie want with Evelyn? In what ways will Steph twist out of the crazy rabbit’s grasp? What twisted ideas does Eddie have for Steph? Joe and Steph – will they get together? Or will it be Ranger and Steph??

Next time on As the World Turns….wait, sorry. Getting out of hand aren’t I? Truth is, I’m not telling you squat. You’ll have to read it for yourself. I review – I don’t give away the goods.

Will you like it? If you’ve read any other Stephanie Plum books and have enjoyed all of them, then yes, you will. What’s good? Just about everything you’ve come to expect from the series. Stephanie getting into ridiculous situations, involving things like dead people, geese, cars, etc. The ideas are always different – as in who is trying to kill her and why. The style, written in first person from Steph’s view, makes things just that much better. I still stand by my declaration that these wouldn’t be as great if they were in third person. Steph is the girl who wanted to be Wonder Woman when she grew up and dreamed of flying, so being in her mind is amusement to the 3rd degree.

You can’t deny the fun times of the other characters as well. Eddie is truly a freaky crack pot. If you know who Ramirez is, then you’ll be able to understand the freakiness of Steph’s situation. Lula, ho turned file clerk, is always great to have tag along. The dialogue for everyone is a hoot, though you do begin to wonder when Lula will just stop asking to shoot people because Steph always says no. Doesn’t hurt to try I guess.

Bad things? *sigh* Well, though I’m fine with the formula (Steph gets involved with something much bigger than she bargained for and now people want to kill her, so she has narrow scrapes with death, and a car usually ends up destroyed), I found myself very annoyed with the Andy Bender situation. In several past books, there has been one court date skipper that she has to go get and it basically takes her the entire book to do it. Sometimes they’re involved with the main plot, sometimes they’re just side dishes. But whichever they may be, Steph usually runs into them multiple times throughout the book. Oftentimes she has perfect, perfect chances to catch them and haul their butt to jail and be done with things, but she freaks out or screws up, or just lets them go for some dumb reason.

It’s this repetition that is beginning to annoy me. It started to irk me in the last book, and this time it just flat out annoyed me. She lets these people take her stuff and use it on her, and she does dumb things that allow them to get away and honestly, she should have learned by now, fictional character or not. She helped to redeem herself a little bit by getting more use out of her gun, but it wasn’t enough. It isn’t as though these big incidents happen to her every month – time does pass between the books, so she really should be accustomed to at least the general idea of how not to screw up quite so much. The screwing up can be funny sometimes, but there were a few places where I rolled my eyes and thought, “Geez woman, how dumb are you?” Such as don’t put your pepper spray in a non-easy access spot. Same goes for your gun. Keep a tight hold on your cuffs. Keep a tight hold on all weapons. Etc. etc.

That’s my major beef right there. The rest of the time I didn’t have many problems. Steph is either braver than I am or just stupider to do some of the things she did when it comes to psycho Eddie and the people after her, but that’s forgivable. That’s her character. The ending may seem abrupt and possibly even anti-climactic to some, but I honestly didn’t mind it at all. In fact, I liked it. I just wish the note had read something different. More cryptic. Like, “I lost the war,” or something like that.

Don’t expect magical characters or deep plots of intrigue – it’s pure entertainment, and if that’s not your bag baby, then don’t go for it. As for me? I think if I ever want a Ranger in my life, I’ll have to start running on the treadmill tomorrow.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

Seven Up - Lucky Seven Is More Like It

Pros: Wide range of stuff to do, wackos to visit
Cons: Timing of ending(s) felt outta wack

The Bottom Line: Driving round in my white Cadillac, crushed velvet seats, wavin' to the ladies as I cruise down the street...

When I read the inside cover of this book, I literally started dancing with joy, grinning like an idiot. Excited doesn’t quite cut it. More like ecstatic. It can’t be because I’m wired yet as it’s only 11:03. Usually I pass the marker of “wired” around 2am or later. No, this is because of Ranger. That’s right, Ranger. I don’t normally have a thing for Cuban-American guys, but I do have a thing for guys that don’t exist. I suppose I’d be better off with real Cuban-Americans. Still, a girl can dream – I asked my sister for Ranger for a Christmas present.

Don’t know who Stephanie Plum is? She’s the main character for a whole series of books written by Janet Evanovich. She used to be a lingerie buyer until the company went kaput and then blackmailed her cousin Vinnie into turning her into a bounty hunter. All of this is detailed out in One for the Money, something I think you should read if you’re considering this book. For the most part you can start anywhere, but it’s a good idea to start in the beginning to see where about half of the recurring characters came from. Details are fun.

This time around, Stephanie has to go snag an old geezer, Eddie DeChooch, who’s skipped his court date, having gotten arrested for trafficking contraband cigarettes. But he’s a spry old man, and even with Lula in tow, Steph loses him. Fine whatever. Or at least that’s what Steph would think had she not discovered the dead woman in DeChooch’s storage shed, shot five times in the chest. She has a tendency to find dead people. Then Mooner, a float-on-the-breeze (or in his and his pal’s sake, weed smoke) kind of guy shows up to inform Stephanie that his buddy Dougie has gone missing. Steph starts to put together pieces after a few hit and misses with DeChooch and a lot of questioning, but she isn’t fast enough to create a clear picture because then Mooner disappears as well.

It’s at this point in time that Steph realizes she’s in water much deeper than planned and wants Ranger’s help. However, this time instead of jumping to the rescue, he’s got a single condition. If he gives her DeChooch, she has to give him a single night of her presence. *cue excited knuckle cracking* And naturally, with problems at work, problems at home are an automatic; Steph’s sister Valerie is home and considering being a lesbian, Gradma Mazur is herself, and the only one seeming to do anything constructive seems to be Bob the dog, and that has to do with Steph’s archrival Joyce and her lawn.

It’s always hard to sum up these books and make sense. Haha. There’s always just so much going on it’s hard to cram it in and all the while be discreet about all the good stuff. I’ve heard some people complaining that the books are repetitive though. True – I will give them that the books have the same formula: Steph has to catch a skip, and the skip is involved with something that gets a whole lot bigger and usually involves people trying to kill her and more often than not, the destruction of a car (or two). But you know what? The plot details are always different and the characters that come in for the first time are usually quite colorful. You can never be quite sure of who is going to say what or what their next move is going to be. Personally, I look forward to each book, even if I already know what is going to be the deal in the big scheme of things. It’s the details in Steph’s life that make the story so great. In short, you may know the outline, but when it comes to guessing what comes next, you’d have to be psychic.

Speaking of guessing, will you guess what is going on? Good lord, not in a million years. I thought I had a basic idea and then found out I was way off base. Then later I’d narrowed it down more and was *this* close to betting money I was right and then found out I was totally wrong. So yeah, good luck with that.

As per usual the book is written in first person, so we get to know all that goes on in Steph’s head and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I swear this is the way my sister writes, which is another reason I wish she’d update her blog. Things ago along nice and even until we get to the end. Things wrap up fairly nicely and then suddenly, oh yeah, forgot something! It’s all on purpose, of course, but it felt weird. Almost like it took too long to round up the guy and pack him off to jail. I don’t mind in the least how any of it was done, but I think by that point I was just impatient for this crazy guy to be caught already.

Along those lines, I do get annoyed sometimes at Steph and the way she handles things. There are a few times when she has her skip and he gets away in the stupidest ways. Stupid as in, “Hey Steph, maybe if you held onto both those cuffs instead of just clanking it over one hand and letting go, you’d be in fine shape.” Or the whole gun thing. She’s still terrified of guns. I’d have learned to be a prime shot now. Yes, she may not be quite as much fun if she wasn’t as much of a coward as she claims, but actually I think it might instead make things more interesting if she’d pluck up and cap someone in the leg once and a while. It’d turn Ranger on I’ll bet.

One more thing – who was doing the editing here? Or in all the books? There was one spot where Dougie suddenly has a line, except he’s been missing for a while, so it was Mooner actually talking. Someone goofed. Then there’s the word “ho.” I’ve seen it spelled three different ways up until this point. ‘Ho. Ho’. Ho. Merry Christmas. Seriously, pick one. Preferably ho because I’m not sure what those apostrophes are supposed to be accomplishing.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

Hot Six - Working With Batman 101

Pros: It's Stephanie Plum
Cons: Names, clarity, fast finish

The Bottom Line: Do you remember what I'd said in an earlier review about Stephanie going through more cars than I read books? Um, yeah, about that...

Stephanie Plum, fictional character from the mind of Janet Evanovich. Stephanie is a bond enforcement agent, aka bounty hunter. She’s technically not a very good one, but she’s got a ton of intuition and plenty of luck to go along with it. If you haven’t read any of the books before this one, you’ll probably be okay, though the prologue might throw you off as it picks up where book 5 left off. In which case I’d say read #1 just to get the whole “how Stephanie became a bounty hunter” bit and then #5 because it rocks and you’ll know where the prologue starts from. Or just read them all, that’s my best recommendation – in fact, I’m seriously thinking of just going out and buying the whole series because I’d love to read these again.

Having said that, on to the plot.

Homer Ramos, the son of an infamous gun-runner is found charred to crispy perfection in his office. The thing is, he also had a big bullet hole in his head, which means someone killed him before setting the fire – and that someone might just be Stephanie’s bounty hunter mentor Ranger. He’s caught on candid camera, leaving the building minutes before the fire alarms start blaring. Doesn’t look too good for the ex-special forces would-be Batman. Naturally, Stephanie’s sent after him, something she isn’t keen on in the least because Ranger can slip through people’s fingers faster than a wisp of smoke. Forget that nonsense.

But it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t want to track him – two guys start following her around, making certain if she catches Ranger, they can snatch him up. If not, Stephanie is in deep doggy doo. To add to her ever mounting stresses, Grandma Mazur has decided to move out of Stephanie’s mother’s house and crash with Steph for a while. A man who killed his wife is out on bail, and will do anything he can to keep Steph from bringing him back in, and a cop friend of Steph’s has tricked her into taking his dog…and the dog eats everything, furniture included. Ranger needs to figure out things fast, Steph is doing all she can to help, but if things don’t solve themselves, she’s going to end up burned, shot, or missing some body parts.

Once again we get plenty of crazy goodness from Stephanie Plum. I was cracking up almost ever 10-15 minutes because of something someone said or just the way things get described by Stephanie. The books are all written in first person, and it just adds to the hilarity because Steph’s point of view is simply great. I don’t think we’d ever get the same effect if it were written in third person.

We get some more crazy characters involved this time, and I was expecting the dog to be just as loopy. Though he does eat everything he can get his mouth around, other than that he’s a pretty normal dog. The descriptions of him are what makes him hilarious. Poor Joe is going through sex withdrawal because Grandma Mazur is living in Steph’s apartment. Ranger is absolutely delicious and I love the way he simply slips into her apartment late at night and sits there until she wakes up to give him information. He might as well be Batman – geez. The skip, Morris Munson is a wack-job and I’m glad for once Steph used her gun. She doesn’t use that thing often enough. Kinda drives me nuts sometimes, actually. She gets faced with some totally unhinged dude, has him at point blank range and either her gun is empty or she simply doesn’t shoot. You’d think by this point in time with all that’s happened to her, she’d be trying to get cozy with that thing. I know I would. In fact, I think most people would.

Which brings us to the believability. Not too hard, really. Suspension of disbelief is the key phrase here, and if you’re not familiar with it, then I suggest you study up on the benefits of it. Actually, most Stephanie Plum books aren’t going to be wholly realistic, but that’s to be expected. They wouldn’t be half as much fun if they stuck 100% to reality.

Problems with the book? Though I’m used to utter non-stop action, and this has 99% of that going on, there were a few tiny lulls, but that’s no big deal. What is a big deal to me is that I didn’t completely understand the who-dun-it and why. I got the basics, but the details eluded me. Maybe I read too fast. That’s always a possibility. But I didn’t feel like I got the whole pictures this time – I got a mite confused. Some of the names threw me off too, which might have been part of it. So many people got dead or involved that when someone like vice cop Joe Morelli or Ranger starts doing the whole explanation thing, they have all these people they bring into the picture and I think, “Wait, who? Who is this person again?”

Of course, I did read this book in one whole sitting. Yeah, all 294 pages in a matter of hours. I pretty much read all day from lunch until, well I don’t know because I forgot to look, but I didn’t have anything else to do and the book was good times so I just kept reading and reading until I was at the end. Fine with me - Seven Up is already in my possession and I already have my bookmark stuck in it.

Still, the end seemed abrupt and a little anticlimactic in some ways. You won’t ever guess who makes the final appearance in her apartment with plans to kill her, that’s for sure. I guess it’s supposed to make for a great twist but to me it seemed out of place. In some ways it makes sense, but in other ways it doesn’t. Possibly because of the timing. Honestly, I can’t quite put my finger on it, for which I apologize, but there’s just something about how everything went down that bugs me.

No matter. A good solid four stars. Great, now that this review is done I can start reading Seven Up. Give me a day – two at the most.

NT

Originally posted 2006 at Epinions.com

High Five - Stephanie's Got a Porsche and Needs a Snickers Bar.

Pros: Everything.
Cons: *cue crickets*

The Bottom Line: Pure giggling, feet kicking joy, that's what it is.

I haven’t been having the best birthday so far, but hey, I’ve stayed alive 23 years running now, so that’s nothing to scoff at.

At the very least, my life is nowhere near as complex and dangerous as Stephanie Plum’s, though I have to admit, I wouldn’t mind having either a Joe Morelli or Ranger in my life. Mmmmm…. We are now on book five, cranked out by the talented Janet Evanovich. If you are unfamiliar with the series, it is possible to start from here, but at the very least I recommend reading book one. That way you can find out how Stephanie Plum, former lingerie buyer, who hates guns and is happy to have a hamster instead of kids, ended up being a bail enforcement agent; aka bounty hunter. Besides, Evanovich uses a lot of repeat characters that can show up virtually at any time unannounced – this book is no exception.

There are no FTAs (failure to appear at a court date). This does not bode well for Stephanie as she’s behind on her rent, has bills to pay, and no FTAs means no income for her. Crap. The best Connie the receptionist can come up with is a $70 one for a Randy Briggs. Turns out Randy is just as mean as Mini-Me and only a few feet taller. With nothing else available, she goes out on a limb and asks Ranger for a job or two, as long as they’re legal (enough). Remember to bring your flak jacket. Crap.

Forget about Briggs – Stephanie soon hears that her Uncle Fred is missing. Most people think he probably just wandered off as old people are wont to do, but after doing some trademarked Stephanie snooping, something doesn’t seem right. Fred’s wife Mabel found some ugly pictures of a dismembered body in a garbage bag. It all seems to have started with the garbage company, RGC, and it looks like it goes much deeper when two more RGC employees are found dead. Mega crap. Things don’t look so good for Fred.

To make things even worse, Benito Ramirez has been released and is now wandering about on parole – and he hasn’t forgotten about Stephanie. Super-ultimate crapola. People are dying, things are blowing up, her relationship with vice cop Morelli is on the rocks (or something) and now there’s some magma-like flirtation going on between her and Ranger. Of course, Stephanie’s not so sure that’s a good idea: “An attraction to Ranger would be like chasing after the doomsday orgasm.” Holy sh…

*Whew!* Another book chock full of ultimate goodies. I was laughing and going nuts within the first 35 pages of the book. The whole Stephanie/Ranger thing had me going out of my mind the entire time. If she doesn’t want Ranger then by God, I’ll take him. I need a man.

I started this book around 8 o’clock and didn’t stop until I decided I should try and get some sleep, which was 237 pages later. Once again, ridiculously hard to put down. The party simply never stops with Stephanie Plum, who goes through more cars than I do books (ok, well maybe not that many, but I’m starting to think it’s pretty close). There were times when I actually smacked myself on my forehead because of her stupidity (going out on a job with Ranger, and she doesn’t bring her gun? Good Lord, I’d bring everything but Rex), and I can’t believe she didn’t shoot Ramirez when she had the chance. Cripes, I sure as hell would have. More than one bullet too. But he was necessary elsewhere, so I was able to understand why Evanovich had to keep him alive.

I liked the plot of this book too. Murders seem to come standard, but the reasons behind them this time were more interesting, and even though the bad guy at the end did the whole spill-his-guts thing while holding Stephanie at gunpoint, it A.) wasn’t the whole story anyway, B.) was somewhat understandable, and C.) didn’t bother me enough to drop a star from the book. In fact, I didn’t have any problems at all with this one – OH! Except the end! No, no, don’t panic, the end was good, delicious even, but it is sooo not fair for Evanovich to leave us all hanging like that. Torture, that’s what it is.

I could say that the believability is a little, well, off, but that's the whole reason behind suspension of disbelief. Besides, this is a Stephanie Plum novel, and if you're looking for utterly plausible in every book, you're in the wrong series my friend. In fact, my disbelief sits on my shoulder and reads the books with me. It quite enjoys them too. That's why I don't list that as a con - it's to be expected.

I really think you’ll love this one, especially if you’ve liked her books in the past. Things never felt like they got slow, I had to keep my eyes from jumping to the bottom and/or the next page to try and see what happens next instead of reading like a normal person and being patient, Briggs is hilarious, Ranger is hotter than the middle of a volcano, and Ramirez is freakier than hell. A good read?

Dang skippy.

NT

Originally posted 2006 at Epinions.com

Four to Score - Everything But the Kitchen Sink (And Actually There's One of Those Too)

Pros: Oh the entertainment factor is just through the roof.
Cons: Not much.

The Bottom Line: Where can you go wrong when you're with Stephanie Plum? Well, reading about her anyway, goodness knows I wouldn't want go through everything she does...

I got this one from the library where I don’t have to return it until October 25th. I snickered to myself thinking, “Sure, I’ll be done with that within three days.”

More like two, and if I hadn’t gotten sucked into a movie on TV, it would have been one.

For those of you just tuning in, Stephanie Plum is a bounty hunter, one that hates guns and has an unbelievable amount of good luck when it comes to bumping into FTAs (failure to appear – in court), but a horrible amount of bad luck when it comes to people wanting to kill her and the outcome of her latest vehicle. Her creator is Janet Evanovich, a woman gaining more and more notice as word of mouth spreads. At least, that’s what I believe. In the realm of mystery, action, a bit of *winkwinknudgenudge* action, where hookers turn file clerks, grandmothers carry guns, and a hamster is your roommate, you’ll be in for a treat no matter where you start in the series, though I always recommend starting at the beginning, that way you get to find out just how Stephanie got into this bounty hunter gig in the first place.

Four to Score is a bit longer than some of the other books. Unless that’s just a trick of the book, considering this time I got a little paperback as opposed to the large hardback. Either way, Stephanie is on her next pickup, a woman named Maxine Nowicki, who swiped her boyfriend’s car and has now failed to appear in court. It sounds like yet another open and shut case, except Maxine seems to have gone AWOL. So in usual Stephanie style, she checks out everyone, finally hitting some pay dirt with Eddie Kuntz, the boyfriend. It seems Maxine is leaving him clues – but to what is beyond each of them. With Lula at her side for backup and a new friend, transvestite Sally Sweet to decode the clues, Stephanie sets out for another interesting chase throughout New Jersey.

But this time, more than one person seems to want Stephanie dead, and for different reasons. Is some crazed girlfriend of the delicious sink-your-teeth-into Joe Morelli trying to kill her via a ton of gasoline and a lit match? Or is it the same person going around cutting off fingers and scalping Maxine’s mother? What is behind the curtains when it comes to Maxine – and does Stephanie really want to find out? And the worst thing of all: Vinnie has hired Stephanie’s arch nemesis Joyce Barnhardt and given her the exact same case.

If I thought any of the previous books had a lot going on in them, this one has lapped them. I mean, Stephanie goes through cars faster than my sister goes through shoes. Lula is an absolute riot and you will just love what she does to Joyce. And you really want these things to happen to Joyce too. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. Grandma Mazur is always a hoot, and if all the other characters aren’t enough, then you’ll love the addition of Sally Sweet. Truly, I do not remember the last book I read with characters as colorful as these. And I do mean colorful. Don’t forget Joe either – he gets pretty hot and steamy with Steph in this book and it’s not that corny novelty romance stuff either. It has more of a real feeling to it so that just makes it even better.

This book seriously is hard to put down. Want to know how much fun it is? Out of 338 pages, I didn’t close it until I’d gotten to page 254. How’s that? I was basically reading all day, stopping only to get a pair of socks, something to drink, snacks, etc. How can you not enjoy it with all the hilarious, crazy stuff that’s going on? You have a code-cracking transvestite that swears more than I do (starting to think I should tone it down), stuff blowing up, stuff getting set on fire, Rex eating Cheerios, and people thinking Stephanie is pregnant. What’s that you ask? You’ll have to read it to find out.

I’m going to give this book 4.5 stars because even though it was loads of fun, after a while I did start to get a little impatient. There were times when things slowed and it seemed more like filler than anything necessary. Maybe I’m impatient. Maybe some things were necessary. Maybe things were done on purpose to get you agitated just the way Stephanie gets when she runs out of leads on things. Either way, I think Evanovich, by this point, has hit her stride when it comes to the style and feel of the books. It was clear, well-written, no confusion at any point in time, and descriptive to a perfect degree for my little imagination.

Now I just have to wait for the next one to come in to the library. I’m rather impatient. I want to see if Joyce keeps up with her bounty hunter stuff or if she quits…or if Lula gets to her yet again…

NT

Originally posted 2006 at Epinions.com

Three to Get Deadly - Candy and Corpses

Pros: Stephanie vs. the Nissan pickup
Cons: No fuss this time!

The Bottom Line: Read the fine print when buying a car, take it easy on homemade liquor, always keep your gun loaded and ready

Janet Evanovich. Months ago that name would have meant nothing to me, New York Times bestseller or not. I never pay attention to that kind of stuff. I do, however, pay attention to word of mouth books. I’ve never had three people recommend a book/series to me, so when it happened I was sure to listen. I also don’t often read mysteries, so this made for a fabulous change for me.

If you’ve read the previous two books, you already know who Stephanie Plum is. If not, don’t despair, because she sums up briefly. Lost her job, used some dirt on her cousin to get a job as a bounty hunter, and has a rash of good/bad luck when it comes to bringing guys in, not to mention stumbling upon things that get way bigger than she can handle on her own. Granted, there aren’t many details and it’s a lot better if you start from square one, but my mom started on #7 of the series, so no sweat.

Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter extraordinaire (well, maybe not so much, but bounty hunter nonetheless), has been given the job of snagging Moses Bedemier, aka Uncle Mo. He runs a candy and ice cream shop – everyone loves him. In short, Mo can do no wrong. Things seem pretty straightforward; Mo was caught carrying a concealed weapon, missed his court date, and now needs to be brought back in. Simple as pie…except no one can find him. So now Stephanie is on a Mo-manhunt, except it seems like there are several masked men that don’t want her to succeed. To make things even more frustrating, Joe Morelli, studly vice cop, seems to be losing his interest in her, Lula, ex-hooker turned file clerk wants a piece of bounty hunting action, and somewhere along the line Stephanie’s hair gets a madcap makeover. Not to mention the fact that her not-so-new-but-just-purchased pickup keeps having death throes.

Apparently pie is not so simple.

Well, what do you know? My first Stephanie Plum book to be graced with five stars! Things are just nonstop in this book. The only downtime is when Stephanie is coming home to her hamster Rex, but even then, that can be fraught with danger. I read this book in about one day. I say “about” because though I could have finished it yesterday, I finally put it down and read the final fifty pages about 5 minutes ago. So pace yourself. Yes, this is hard to do considering Lula is a crackup, Stephanie is being shot at every other chapter, and there are bodies showing up everywhere. Snappy comebacks and Ranger as Batman. Makes me happy.

You learn a little more about Stephanie and her world with each book. At least it seems like it. You hear more about her divorce this time around, and a little about how she thinks in certain terms. This isn’t some classic novel we’re talking about, just something really fun to read and enjoy, so don’t get too serious about it. Naturally if you’ve read any of the others in the series, you should already know what to expect. Not so say that is going to dull down the book any. Quite the contrary – you’re waiting to see what happens next between Stephanie and Joe, and just how screwed up things will get for Stephanie this time around. I love the language Evanovich uses, including some words I haven’t heard since I was a little kid (i.e. dookey). I read these things and I just laugh because it’s so juvenile, and yet at the same time, not quite. Perfect for Stephanie and her world.

And the final test? Can you see the end before you get there? Mm, not quite. You get the idea, but the final turn probably won’t show up. Though there was some confession going on near the end, it wasn’t the complete spill-guts style, and that always pleases me. More like tying up loose ends; final puzzle pieces.

Get it. Read it. And get a fudge sunday while you’re at it. It’ll be delicious.

NT

Originally posted 2006 at Epinions.com

Two for the Dough - You Can't Go Wrong With a Foot In the Fridge

Pros: Thank God my grandma isn't like this...

Cons: A little more detail please?

The Bottom Line: A Buick built like a tank, a hamster, clumsy female bounty hunter, sexy vice cop, wacky grannie = fun read.

A few weeks ago I finished Janet Evanovich’s first Stephanie Plum novel, One for the Money. I’d had three people telling me it was good stuff, hilarious, and so I hopped on the bandwagon to find out just what I was missing. Interesting times, I’ll tell ya that!

Stephanie Plum is a bounty hunter…er, mostly by accident. She needed a job – she was at the point where there wasn’t anything in her fridge aside from the random, moldy food item here and there. Her first catch was to be one Joe Morelli, whose guilt was iffy. You’ll have to read that whole book to find out just what went down, but you do get a bit of a recap in the beginning, so reading them out of order (I assume, and my mother has done it) isn’t such a bad thing. Each story is separate, just with connecting places and characters. So what’s Miss Plum up to this time?

Kenny Mancuso shot his best friend in the leg. He posted bond. He failed to appear. Hence, Stephanie and Ranger go out to reel him in. No dice. Things look even worse for Kenny when his pal goes from bullet in leg to all dead. Stephanie’s grandmother, Grandma Mazur, drags her to funeral viewings where Stephanie ends up with another little job – finding a load of missing caskets. On top of that, she’s getting threats – spray paint on her walls, notes, body parts…ew. On the bright side (maybe, she’s still iffy about the idea) she keeps running into vice cop Joe Morelli. Is Kenny the real bad guy here? Or is something else way creepier going on? And for Pete’s sake, will Grandma Mazur stop harassing the dead people in their caskets at viewings??

There’s only one way to find out…

As much fun as the first one was, this wasn’t quite as laugh-out-loud funny, but oh, it had it’s high points, trust me. You will not believe some of the stuff that happens to poor Stephanie, and you’ll be thanking your lucky stars that your grandma isn’t prone to knocking over caskets “accidentally” (and if your grandma is, then I feel for you). There are times when you wish Stephanie would come up with some better zingers against Joe, but I suppose she makes up for it with the naked in the street stint. What’s that you ask? Oh, I’m not telling you! You have to read to find out, but trust me, low blow though it may be, it’s still pretty great. I think my favorite parts are when Stephanie’s hamster Rex is involved. Makes me want a hamster, and it’s also not often you see hamsters in mystery novels, so it’s like a added bonus (albeit a goofy one).

Though there isn’t any clear cut explanation like there was at the end of the first book (as in the bad guy spills his guts to the heroine), it becomes clear enough what was going on, though it may confuse you for a brief moment in time. You sort of have to make sure you gather everything up as you go so at the end the rest of the puzzle pieces fit nicely. I went though thinking one way and it ended up being a slightly different way. Even my “real bad guy” guess was wrong. Kudos Janet.

Any problems? Sometimes things did seem a little more convoluted than they needed to be, or just weren’t explained well enough. My biggest issue, actually, is just some of the little details. Usually when Joe popped up and ended up hanging out with Stephanie. There were times he was in her car, and then suddenly he was in his following her. There were other times when I didn’t know who was driving, or if he’d gotten into her car or what. Just a little more clarity and I would have been crystal.

But overall, it was a good book. I’m looking forward to the next one and hope it cracks me up and keeps me glued all the way through. I need a good book that will have me thrashing around in the throes of laughter. Stephanie Plum is a good candidate, let’s see if she can deliver.

NT

Originally posted 2006 at Epinions.com

One for the Money - When I Jumped On the Bandwagon

Pros: A good read for plenty of fun

Cons: Nothing big enough for me or you to worry about

The Bottom Line: 4 stars for being a good book, but not super excellent - but I expect the future books to snag 5 stars sooner or later!

Back in college, my friend Sandra told me about these novels by Janet Evanovich that had her laughing out loud, and she highly recommended them to me. She said her sister had started reading them. Duly noted. Then my mother told me about the same novels and how great they were. Hmm…interesting. Then about two weeks after that my sister demanded I read them. She’d bought all eleven on Half.com and had gone so far as to amuse herself by creating a movie cast for the books.

I took this as some weird sign I should look into things. If I was getting told by three people to read these things, I guess it would be a good choice to do so. I promptly ordered it from the library (having just recently discovered again the magic of libraries).

“That’s great, Nicole, but what about the book?”

Stephanie Plum has been without a job for six months. Her refrigerator is turning into a barren wasteland, her hamster Rex may be beginning to resent her, and her car has just gotten repossessed.

Suck.

On a suggestion from her mother, Stephanie goes to her cousin Vinnie, who happens to be a bail bondsman. She just wants to be a file clerk until she can find something better, but the position’s been filled. What’s left? Turning into a bounty hunter. The mark? Joe Morelli, former cop wanted for murder. $10,000 sweet. How hard can it be? So, after a little blackmail-ish talk with Vinnie, he agrees to give her a shot at catching Joe. But it’s not as easy as it sounds – at all. During her time questioning people she bumps into Benito Ramirez, a psychotic heavyweight boxer who has a thing for hurting women and now has his sights set on her. Not so good. Hopefully her help from a cop friend, Eddie, and another bounty hunter known as Ranger, Stephanie can get enough money to get her life back on track – that is, if Ramirez doesn’t catch her first, or she gets shot by a side FTA (failure to appear – in court), or maybe even something more dangerous…

Thinking back, I don’t think I’ve read very many mysteries…at all. Much less crime and cop related mysteries. I think at most it comes to R.L. Stine’s Fear Street Series, Rule of Four, and two Dan Brown books. So One for the Money was a great change of pace. It’s 290 pages, all in first person from Stephanie’s point of view, and yes, there are parts that will make you laugh out loud. Some of the things she says or comes up with are great, and her Grandma Mazur is a hoot too. The banter between characters such as Stephanie and Joe or Stephanie and Ranger are usually pretty fun because they’re taking jabs at one another, more so Stephanie and Joe. Some people may find that the characters aren’t that deep, but we’re just starting out with them and I get the feeling that we’ll delve into them a little deeper later. Besides, this isn’t the type of book where your focus is going to be on that sort of thing. It’s more for sheer enjoyment. You know enough about the characters and get enough sense of who they are to fit the bill. If you want complicated characters, go read Moby Dick. I will say one thing though, Benito Ramirez was truly creepy.

Another good point about this book is that aside from its rather casual tone, it doesn’t focus on one thing and head towards the resolution with a few red herrings here and there to throw you off. Rather, Stephanie has her own personal goal, and goes down the road toward it rather haphazardly, not really focusing on a larger picture, and splitting off on branches of adventures from time to time, such as apprehending a few other court date skipping individuals, and interacting with plenty of other characters on her search for clues about Joe’s whereabouts.

Can you guess the ending? No. It connected to everything, but at the same time, it was so unconnected (or at least, very thinly connected) with Stephanie, that you’re just as “Whoa, really?” as she is. You’re busy driving around town and meeting people with her, not solving crimes, so when the reasons behind this and that come up, you stare at it just like her. Did I guess whodunit? Yes, but I didn’t know why, and I only guessed the right person because I always put my focus on the same type of person (as that’s always who it seems to be). But since you don’t know the reasons, even if you do guess, it’s not like it’s taking anything away from the book.

It was a lot of fun, and the only cons that I can mention would be tiny clichés. Or rather, cliché. Basically just the bad guy spilling his guts to the heroine; “Here’s what I did and why before I kill you.” But we do need to know, and I don’t really mind in the least. I just figure as long as all 12 books don’t do that, as it would get redundant and enhance the cliché, I’ll be fine.

So head to your library, book store, Half.com, whatever, and join me in the bandwagon. I’m convinced that these novels have gained in popularity due to word of mouth, and in fact, I think that’s one of the best way to find good books – especially when you’re being told to check it out by 3 or 4 people.

NT

Ready for Stephanie Plum September?

I kind of feel like an asshole after my last Janet Evanovich review, so I've decided to make September Stephanie Plum Month. There was a point in time where I didn't get so annoyed with her work as I do now. In fact, I loved it and read the books one after another. I really don't know what happened. Publisher pressure? Fan pressure? Who knows. But I remember having three completely different people tell me I had to read these books, and that was before I worked at a bookstore (where people tell me I need to read this and that all the time), and that's something that hasn't happened to me before or since.

In fact, I started reading and reviewing her novels for Epinions.com back in 2006 right around the end of college. At one point I stopped reviewing them - I think around the time she slowed down in writing them, which was okay because that may have been when they started to get repetitive with little (or no) character development. Actually, I worried that Ms. Evanovich was stuck under contract or something of that sort to keep churning out these novels and it was burning her out.

But in all truth, I don't know. I don't mean for this to turn into some expose about Janet Evanovich, who has had more literary success than a huge percent of authors, and has attained a famed status that I can only dream of hitting. I'll bet she even gets fanart - and that's something I'm jealous of.

So tomorrow starts Stephanie Plum September in which each day I will post a review of a Stephanie Plum book. In order, of course. I've reviewed up to 17, plus all the in-between novels, though I've read 18 and 19 (oh, look - I even have a post about #19 in 2012). Either way, I'll have to do some reading if I want to get up to number 22 for a full September of Stephanie Plum. Library, here I come.

And you know what? Maybe I'm just an idiot and she really does have a grand time writing these novels. After all, don't think I could crank out 22 books with the same characters and different mysteries every time. Pretty sure I'd lose my mind. Or just pull a Paul Sheldon and kill off the main character to end the series once and for all.

NT

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - The Original

Pros: A unique tale with nifty goodies

Cons: I never liked Howl

The Bottom Line: Close to five stars, but not quite - maybe I'm just picky about my books these days...

Hayao Miyazaki’s Howl’s Moving Castle has origins, and those origins are here, with the creation of Diana Wynne Jones’s book of the same title. The moment I heard the movie came from a book, I sought it out and finished the mere 212 page book in two days.

Sophie is the eldest of three, which means she won’t amount to much, or so everyone says. After her father dies, her mother Fanny sends her sisters Martha and Lettie off so they can make their fortunes and Sophie is to stay at the hat shop and become and apprentice. So Sophie makes hats. Day after day. She talks to them a little too, since there’s not much else to do while making hats. But one evening a woman comes in – a woman who turns out to be the Witch of the Waste, and when Sophie doesn’t give her what she wants, *poof!* a spell is cast and Sophie becomes an old woman. Drat.

Deciding to set out on her own even as an old woman, Sophie leaves and heads out, winding up inside Howl’s moving castle where she meets Michael, Howl’s young apprentice, and Calcifer, a fire demon. Calcifer sees Sophie is under a spell and they make a deal – Sophie breaks Calcifer’s contract with Howl and he will break her spell. Sophie agrees and announces herself as Howl’s new cleaning lady. But during her time there she learns that Howl does steal hearts – figuratively, and then breaks them, one of which may be her sister. There’s an odd and frightening scarecrow that keeps chasing after the castle. The Witch of the Waste is after Howl. Howl himself is a selfish pretty boy, whose talents are great, but redeeming qualities few. And throughout all this, Sophie learns a thing or two about herself and her own talents.

9 out of 10 times the book is better than the movie. Though this book was good in its own way, I liked the movie better. Actually, I think a meshing of the two would make things perfect, but that’s beside the point. Jones’s writing style is crisp and clear, and she gives us plenty of magical items and encounters, and people to boot. A man stuck as a dog. A scarecrow with a mind of its own. Boots that zip you ten miles over the landscape. A spell with some very unique end results. And of course, a castle that moves and has a door that opens to four locations. Delightful.

I think Howl and the very end was my only problem. Though I like all the characters and everything that is happening, it was no surprise that Howl was a spoiled pretty boy. But I expected to see some change as the book went along. Maybe I missed it, but I don’t ever recall seeing any. The things he says to Sophie are never truly mean-spirited, but I personally wouldn’t take to kindly to them either. Naturally Sophie is annoyed or angry with him most of the time, but at the end suddenly it’s as though we have a complete 180 by both characters. Actually just Sophie – there’s only one tiny instance before when we spot a change in Howl, but that’s it. Even in the book is said that he hadn’t changed much. I’m just not convinced she would fall for him, as I expected I should be.

But aside from all that, it’s a cute book. Read it to your kids, they’ll probably enjoy it. The plot may be a tad bit thick, what with the missing persons and the scarecrow’s purpose and what the bad guy was trying to do exactly. But read it yourself if you’re curious; you can’t go wrong when there’s a little fire demon involved.

NT

Originally published on Epinions.com.

Song of the Wanderer by Bruce Coville - The Wanderer is Weary

Pro: Definitely wasn't weary reading this!
Con: None now. At the time the third book wasn't even close to coming out.

The Bottom Line: Fun times all around. Now go get the next book.

If you haven’t read the first book, Into the Land of the Unicorns then shhh! Don’t read this part!!

When we left off with Cara, she had finished her journey to the unicorn Queen, Arabella Skydancer. With her were Lightfoot, the Squijum, the Dimblethum, and Thomas the Tinker. She had found out that the man after her and her grandmother was actually her father, Ian Hunter, and that Cara herself was actually a Hunter by blood as well. Cara also now had the gift of tongues from the dragon Firethroat and is able to speak to anyone and anything in Luster. And now, she must start on her journey back home to find her grandmother, Ivy Morris, who is also The Wanderer, and bring her back to Luster.

Ok, you’re good to go now.

Bruce Coville has done it again in Song of the Wanderer. At twenty-six chapters and 330 pages, this book is twice as long as the first. But that is not in any way a bad thing. On the contrary – many times thicker books mean more goodies for the reader!

Cara is once more setting off on a journey through the land of Luster in order to find a way back to Earth and to her grandmother. She leaves with a small glory of unicorns (a glory is the name for a group of unicorns – like a herd of cows, that sort of thing), Moonheart, who is Lightfoot’s gruff uncle, Finder, a unicorn who can find almost anything, and Belle, one of the Queen’s personal guard who enjoys a good battle. For reasons unknown to Cara, Lightfoot did not return to Summerhaven due to ill feelings between him and the other unicorns, and the Dimblethum simply feels unwelcome there. However, she does still have the Squijum and Thomas the Tinker to join her on their trek across Luster.

They must find the one called the Geomancer, who will tell Cara the exact place she must cross between worlds with the use of the amulet. They must avoid getting lost in an enchanted forest. They must fight against nasty delvers. Cara must resist the ever-persistent Beloved, who is somehow able to reach her, even across worlds. And still, so many questions plague Cara: where is her mother? Is her grandmother okay? How could her father be a hunter of unicorns? Will she see Lightfoot and the Dimblethum again? And just how will she get back to Earth?

Their trails take them into the underground caves of Grimwold, along the shores of River Silver, and to the desolate lands of Northern Waste. New friends will meet and join them on the way, such as Medafil and Jaques, who has a secret of his own, and others who are not so friendly, such as the unpredictable dragon Ebillan.

Through all this Cara’s past is unraveled, as is her grandmother’s. Many twists and turns reveal secrets long kept – and the end is the last thing anyone would have expected.

And yet there is still room for more.

Though this book is mostly one long travel book without many sudden turns (the turns that occur are subtle and not really unexpected, aside from a couple here and there), but it is still highly enjoyable. A lot of questions are answered and as things progress, they just get more and more “whoa” as you read. I read this book in two days (which adds up to just a matter of hours, really), so as you can see, it is hard to put down. I especially like the way Coville portrayed the gryphon and the words the gryphon used ("Gadfingled" comes to mind), I thought it was great and fit wonderfully.

If you were to look for this book in the bookstore, you would find it in the "young reader" section - suggested ages are 9-12 (wow, it's been so long since I've been a young reader). But then there are always kids out there at various ages that wouldn't have a problem with it. My little sister is actually in high school, but she's had the first one for a while and someone (me) finally made the effort to finish what was started. It's a smooth read and the only words kids might have trouble with might be a couple of the names (and very few at that), or the words the gryphon uses when he's fussing about something. Let's face it - if your kid has no problem reading Harry Potter, then this is a walk in the park.

At the time I originally wrote this review the year was 2005 and there was no third book and this one was copywritten in 1999. And there had to be one given the sort of ending that this book has. Luckily Bruce either never completely stopped on this series or went back to it because in 2008 Dark Whispers came out and the series wrapped up in 2010. I still haven't finished it (because I couldn't), but now that I'm going through these reviews, I think I'll have to revisit the land of Luster and finally discover the whole story. After all, I want to know what they’re going to do about Beloved.

That chick needs to go.

NT


Originally published on Epinions.com