The Book of Even More Awesome - Awesomeness

Pros: More awesome things.
Cons: Read sparingly or the writing style will drive you nuts
The Bottom Line: Need a reason to perk up? Read a few pages from the book o'awesomeness.

It’s hard to ignore a book when it’s called The Book of Awesome.  I enjoyed that one, so when I saw that there was a second book I went ahead and read it.  After all, it’s a book full of little things that are simply awesome.  What have you got to lose from that?

This is the next installment – The Book of Even More Awesome.  And that’s really all it is.  Each few pages discusses something that’s awesome in this world.  Those little things in life that make us happy.  Like what, you may ask?  How about a few of the following to make you smile:

Coming back to your own bed after a long trip.  Oh, how I can relate to this.  Especially after a camping trip.  I love camping, but the idea of a soft, warm bed with a big cushy pillow?  Oh yeah, it’s like coming back to a little slice of heaven.  Helps you appreciate just how good you’ve got it, too.

Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater.  Hey, why spend $3 when you can spend $0.75?

Stomping dry, crunchy leaves on the sidewalk.  I still totally do this.  Which is why it’s such a disappointment when a leave masquerades as crunchy only to go “pleh” when you stomp it.  But those crunchy ones…ooh.  It’s like running through a bag of chips.

Finally getting that tiny piece of popcorn out of your teeth.  Oh sweet lord, I had that happen yesterday.  Ohyeah.  Sweet relief.

And one more because oh yes baby, it is indeed awesome:

When it feels like the lyrics of the song you’re listening to were written just for you.  Haha.  Actually for me it’s not so much that they were written for me, but more like God made sure that song played so I could hear it because it matched my mood.  I always laugh and shout, “YES!”

This is only a snippet of what this book has to offer you.  It’s fun and a good read, though I do recommend reading it in snippets.  Perhaps a few pages before going to bed or after waking up for the day?  Once again there are randomly bolded words and phrases (still have no idea why).  But the reason I recommend this book in small doses is because of the way it’s written.  The style is extremely repetitive and reading it in larger chunks actually started to drive my inner editor crazy.  I keep wondering how the agent/editor didn’t pick up on this (maybe they didn’t think it mattered?).

But the style is basically, “So do this, say that, and la-de-da.”  Triple action sentences.  Done in an almost lyrical way in how they read – possibly because there are so many of them.  I mean, almost every page there was a sentence like that, if not more than one.  Here’s a clearer example, “Just lock that door, shutter those blinds, and crank the bumping music.”  Action, action, and action.  It just became too much.  Not so awesome.

Aside from that, it’s a book full of delightful things (some of which may not apply to you, but you can see how they’d be awesome to others) that can help perk up your day – especially if you encounter that particular awesome something later on.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

If You Give a Kid a Cookie Will He Shut the F*ck Up? - Indeed

Pros: Hilarious, excellent illustrations
Cons: Only if this type of humor isn't your bag.
The Bottom Line: The answer to the title is yes – but only if you're ready for a string of additional consequences to follow.

In the back room one day I was sorting through piles of books left behind by the receiving manager.  When I hit the kids pile I discovered this book.  I also discovered that this was not a children's book.  The second I saw the cover with the bite in the cookie acting as a "u" for the word "fuck" I knew this was something else.

In the tradition (that seems to be picking up speed) of Go the F*ck to Sleep, this book is a parody of the classic, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.  But this book needs to stay on the top shelf away from little hands, otherwise they'll be asking about the roosters and the police - not to mention some of the language - in this book.

Yes friends, it starts out simply enough.  If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f*ck up?  Perhaps for a little while, but you need to take into account sugar rushes, drunken uncles that don't answer the phone, cock fights, police arrests, and potential divorces.  It's a short book, the length of the average children's picture book, but author Marcy Roznick covers all the necessary bases here in order to go full circle with maximum hilarity.

I actually stopped work to read it, I admit.  I laughed almost the entire way through the book.  When one of my managers popped in, I promptly showed it to her.  She got a kick out of it as well.  Not long after that, our community relations manager came striding in and said, "Okay, where's the book?" and read it as well.  Everyone's favorite part was the cock fight, or as Roznick so eloquently puts it, "stop to watch the birdies."

But this book wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for Miranda Lemming's illustrations.  They are, in fact, rather adorable.  The kids are actually cute, the pictures were bright and perky and the combination of the story and the perfectly executed children's book style drawings went together like peanut butter and jelly.  I thought the roosters were really cute, and when everyone is in jail, take a closer look at the little daughter in the background.  Yes.  Another type of birdie appears.

It's unexpected, but very funny.  I love the illustrations and the way the events connected were great.  And hey, everything even works out! (sort of)  And honestly, what parent hasn't thought this very thing from time to time?  I'm don't have kids, but I'm not stupid either.  (Hey, I work in retail, so I hear plenty of kids screaming their lungs out. Don't tell me the parents are wondering on how to get them to shut the f*ck up.)

This book is perfect if you're a parent in need of a laugh, want a great gag gift for expecting parents, or for whatever reason you can think of.  Point is, you should at least head over to the bookstore and read it.  I guarantee the employees will hear you giggling on the other side of the bookshelves.

NT

Originally posted on Epinions.com

What's Your Poo Telling You? by Josh Richman and Anish Seth - For the Curious or Serious

 

Pros: Funny and surprisingly informative

Cons: Only if you don't like poo

 

The Bottom Line: Come on, you know you've always wanted to know about poo.

 

For some reason my soon to be brother-in-law has a strange fascination with poo. I surmise there’s a long story there, though I’m not even sure where that story starts. Anywho, while doing some book shelving one day, I stumbled upon a tiny hardcover book entitled What’s Your Poo Telling You?. How could I not look at it? Book stores have so many wacky books in them, you might never truly realize it until you spend a day in there, seriously perusing the stacks. Try it sometime.

 

After informing my sister and telling her I was thinking of getting it for her fiancee for Christmas (to which she replied with an emphatic “Yes!”), I realized there was absolutely no way I could have this book sitting in my room for several weeks without giving it a read through. It’s a very small book, only about 6 x 4.5 inches or so and only 96 pages. It’s a slim little book, one that can be totally innocuous if you weren’t looking too closely at the shelf.

 

So what is your poo telling you? Depends on what type of poo you happen to have at the time. This book is, in a word, awesome. Hahaha. Really, it goes through all sorts of different poo types, from the perfectly pinched log (or The Clean Sweep as they call it) to Pebble Poo to Performance-enhancing Poo (or as I always called it, Nervous Poo), to numerous others. If there’s a poo type, it’s in here, trust me, complete with some synonyms as well as what Dr. Stool has to say about that particular poo. For example, why some types of poo sink and others float. What causes some poo to come out all snake-like. Why you may have that sense of accomplishment, or Poo-phoria after going. It’s like the pocket encyclopedia to poo!

 

What’s more, you also get little nuggets of information, random trivia, and tidbits of history that all relate to poo in some way or another. Not to mention some rather amusing illustrations. Reading this review you might think, “Gross” or “Weird” or something along those lines, but this book isn’t necessarily all for laughs. It really does have valuable information and after all, since we all do it, there really isn’t anything wrong with wondering about poo and why oh why a few kernels of corn made it all the way through your digestive tract.

 

Honestly, this book gets my full support and I see no reason why someone should get offended by this book (unless that person just really, really does not like poo). I’m not saying you should go out and buy this for grandma (as she might give you a weird look that says, “Why on earth did you buy me this?”), but for yourself or someone you know would have a riot with this book, by all means. Even if you’re uptight about poo, try giving it a read. You may feel yourself loosen up a bit. ;)

 

NT

Notes from the playlist: "Bananaphone" by Raffi

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O'Brien – Apparently God Wanted to See Our Junk

Pro: Myths presented like you were being told a crazy story in a bar.

Con: Only if you can’t handle crude humor

The Bottom Line: It’s absolutely hilarious. We had three copies in the store; they sold in about a week.

This book was brought to my attention by one of my co-workers. He deserves a medal for doing so, I might add.  Though the book features Zeus’s name, it actually includes myths of all belief systems. Greek, Christian, Native American, Hindu – basically anything that the author, Cory O’Brien, decided would make for a hilarious story. And the truth is that most mythological stories are pretty ridiculous to begin with. When you hear them in their normal state, as just a regular story, you don’t really think much of it. It’s a myth story, no big deal. Never mind that the Norse god Loki had sex with a horse and gave birth (yes, Loki gave birth) to the eight-legged horse Slepnir.

But then you take time enough to step back and look at a lot of these myths and you can start to reflect on just how freaking weird they are and how they have no reason for existing – they don’t explain why the sun rises or what makes it rain. Never mind that Athena just jumped out of Zeus’s head one day – in full armor no less (and there’s an even weirder version of that story, by the way).

But I digress. The hilarity in this book lies in the way it’s written. It’s almost jotted down in prose poetry style, which is actually amusingly fitting considering the style of so many old myths, so it may have been intentional. Either way, O’Brien writes them in a way that you might hear these stories in a bar – very casually, very crudely, with a bit of elaboration, but the base of the myth is still very correct. He uses all caps in a few places for some really brash emphasis, and it works very well. After reading a few stories and laughing until I was on the brink of tears, I finally had to put it down and not read any more of it because A.) I was at work and B.) customers were starting to look at me funny.

You don’t have to know the myths beforehand in order to enjoy this – I read a Norse one I wasn’t familiar with and it was still absolutely hilarious. Knowing some myths, however, almost makes them funnier because O’Brien makes sure to point out the ridiculous bits like how God cursed the serpent to crawl on its belly forever for it’s part in the whole Adam-Eve-fruit fiasco – never mind the fact that serpents crawl like that anyway.

There is swearing and crude remarks (although many of the old myths were pretty crude – lotsa sex, mind you), so brace yourself. But if you don’t mind that and want a good laugh, I highly recommend at least taking a look at this. Read a story or two and see if you aren’t thinking of buying it.

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Mind you – if you do, you will never think of Sandro Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus the same way again.

Notes from the playlist: "Skyfall" by Adele

Recommended for the Perfect Gag Gift

  50 Shades of Chicken by F.L. Fowler

Yup.  You read this right.  It's a cookbook focused on chicken and a parody of 50 Shades of Grey.  How could I not throw this out there for your enjoyment?  This holiday season if you need a great gag gift to give to someone then this could easily be the thing to get.  Whether they've read 50 Shades of Grey or avoided it lik the plague, this will definitely draw some laughs.  Inside are a lot of finger-licking recipes complete with some storytime moments that include quivering thighs, oiled skin, and even a slathering of honey.  You could be aiming for embarrassment or laughter and maybe get both when the recipent unwraps this tasty - and slightly kinky - book.  Just remember to visit them again later so you can try out some of the recipes for yourself!

 Notes from the playlist: "Lights" by Ellie Goulding

F in Exams by Richard Benson - A for Effort

Pros: Hilarious answers
Cons: Only if some of these people didn't get the points

The Bottom Line: Ever find yourself stuck on a test question and throwing in a snarky answer instead? Well, here they all are at once!

I love stumbling upon books at work. That's how I found the nifty Wicked Plants and plenty of other cool books. Sometimes it's fiction, and other times it's something ridiculous like this book.

F in Exams has a simple premise. When a student finds him or herself unable to give the correct answer, they offer up something else - an answer that's wrong yet right all at once, and always very funny. These are hilarious answers to all sorts of questions, and if you don't find at least one of them amusing, I think there's likely something wrong with you.

Some of the questions may even still be right, but the student has done something else to make it funny, such as throw in a drawing for kicks. But most of the time they're just not what the teacher is looking for - even if I'm sure they're technically right in some manner. And these aren't just all snarky answers either. Some of them are surprisingly witty. In fact, if I were a teacher and a few of these slid across my desk, I'd just have to give a few points simply for sheer creativity.

The book is relatively small in shape and is only 130 pages long. There are chapters for each subject one might encounter in high school; Chemistry, English, History, Math, and so forth. You'll quickly breeze through all the hilarious answers and wish there were more at hand (and yet at the same time, you may wonder just what these students' test scores were and think perhaps it's okay that the book isn't bigger, if you catch my drift).

So, how about a few quick samples so you can see the kind of amusing things you'll be getting into?

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A: Mariah Carey

Q: What was the main industry in Persia?
A: Cats (complete with cat doodle)

Q: Give a brief explanation of the meaning of the term "hard water."
A: Ice

Trust me. Find this little blue book in a bookstore (or even look inside it online) and flip through it. You'll be laughing in no time.

NT

Originally posted at Epinions.com

Notes from the playlist: "Valse Moderne" by John Leach & George Fenton

Recommended for A Bit of AWESOME!

The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha

When I first came upon this book one day at work, I had two thoughts. 1.) I need to read this book. 2.) Why is it in the Self Improvement section?

Though I never did quite figure out why it's in that section, I most certainly ended up reading it and I had a good time in the process. The concept is simle: Awesome Things. Those little things in life that are, well, awesome. Like walking past a bakery and snorting up that delicious smell of baking bread and cookies and yummy things. Or freshly fallen snow. Or, everyone's favorite, popping bubble wrap. There are literally hundreds of yippee-skippee things in here that will, at some point, jog a delighted part in your brain that makes you say, "Omigod, YAY" as you suddenly remember just how awesome that particular thing is. One of those for me?

The smell of the coffee isle in the grocery store. AWESOME!

Read the Epinions review here!

Notes from the playlist: "The Kraken" by Hans Zimmer (AWESOME!)

Recently Finished

Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down by Forrest Griffin and Erich Krauss

Let's be honest. I love working at Barnes & Noble. I could be cashiering or I could be in the kids department, but no matter where I am, I'm always exposed to books I may have never otherwise considered.

That's actually not the case here. Haha. I'd already read Got Fight? and knew it was only a matter of time before this book came out. Lucky me, I was in the receiving room and opened up the very box containing the new copies. I immediately put one aside. While it wasn't quite as funny as Got Fight?, it was still pretty amusing. The cover itself is enough to get you to laugh. My dad thinks that Forrest has been hit in the head one too many times by now, and he's probably right. You'll learn how to survive the apocalypse, start your own religion/cult, and build your own eutopia. My favorite parts have to be the random stories about Forrest and a few of his acquintances, one in particular regarding his wife's attempt to teach him a lesson about leaving the doors unlocked at night. So if you want to know how to survive when the sh*t goes down, well, there are better books, but we all know which one you're going to pick.

Read the Epinions review here!


Notes from the playlist: "Hell Yeah" by Rev Theory

Recommended for Sunday Comic Readers

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

Honestly, I should have saved the money I intended to use on all 10 of my Calvin & Hobbes books and bought the huge massive all-inclusive set they have now. But what's done is done and I don't have any regrets anyway. I love Calvin & Hobbes. Even if when I was a kid I didn't always understand what the heck Watterson/Calvin was talking about. Hah. Still, I loved Calvin's imagination - Spaceman Spiff, T-rex dinosaurs flying fighter jets, his mother's cooking trying to eat him, among other things - and how much fun he and Hobbes had together. I once even tried to recreate Calvinball but it didn't really work. My books are all dog-eared and have been read over and over. It's hard not to smile when Calvin & Hobbes are around.

Maybe someday I'll buy the fancy complete version...

Notes from the playlist: "One Last Message" by Andrew Lockington

Recommended for UFC Fans, MMA Practicioners, and Humor

Got Fight? by Forrest Griffin

Want to learn about MMA (among other things) from Forrest Griffin? Then read this and laugh your ass off in the process.

No joke. Forrest Griffin's book is full of fighting advice, moves, tips, and freaking hilarious anecdotes and smart ass writing that is guarenteed to have you laughing, learning something, or possibly even both. The second I finished this book, I stuck it up on the recommendation shelf. If anyone is looking at it or asking about it, I handsell it like there is no tomorrow. Yes Forrest, I'm one of those 3 (or 2 I believe you knocked it down to) girls that actually read your book. We had to order them in batches to make sure we had 10 in the store at any given time. When the book came out, we only had 4 to start with.

Read the Epinions review here!


Notes from the playlist: "Scream" by Avenged Sevenfold

Recommeded for Everyone

2,001 Things to Do Before You Die by Dane Sherwood

Now, I know it sounds slightly morbid, but curiosity piqued and I had to sneak a peek at this book. I bought it not long after. Really, it's quite funny since there are soooo many different things you can mark off. That's all it is; a list of 2,001 things you can do, each with a box beside it for you to check. Some are easy, like baking a massive cookie (which I actually have yet to do) while others are downright impossible - as a woman, I cannot grow a beard, much less shave it off. Still, there are plenty of fun, interesting, and downright bizarre things for you to do or be inspired to try (I really want to try milking a cow).

This book may seem a bit hard to get, but you can usually find it in B&N's bargain section.

As of right now (and I've just marked off another square), I've done 207 things. (yes, I just counted them)


Notes from the playlist: "If Today was Your Last Day" by Nickelback

Recommended for Humor Fans and Customers/Retail Workers Alike

The Customer Is Always Wrong: The Retail Chronicles by Jeff Martin

If you've worked in the retail industry, you'll be able to relate to the tales in this book. If you've never worked in retail, you should probably read this book anyway. You might learn something. No, really, you might. Collected here are horror stories, hilarious tales, and head-shaking moments of dealing with wacky customers, tough managers, and backroom issues. It's a smorgasbord of laughs, some with life lessons, and others just letting the world know what the world of retail is truly like.

Notes from the playlist: "Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke

Recommended for College Goers and NOT the Faint of Heart

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max

I know. I've just gone from beginning with highly intelligent to completely ridiculous. Tucker Max is the infamous rich kid who screws around with his life, friends, women, and tempts fate, booze, and the limits of, well, just about everything. Women decry Tucker Max as a chauvinist pig, a cheating manwhore who doesn't deserve anyone's praise. Yes, he is. In fact, he acknowledges this and frequently reminds the reader of how much of a jerk he really is. With or without the book, Tucker Max doesn't need the money, but this book is just so damn funny, you quit caring about the tiny percentage he gets when you purchase it.

Frankly, I believe that Tucker Max is proof that karma exists in the world. No one, and I mean NO ONE will ever have some of the negative things happen to them the way they happen to Tucker Max. It just wouldn't. Trust me. In short; it's vulgar, crass, sickening, includes sex, drunkeness, insults, and a lot of messed up stuff, but if you don't have a problem with any of that, read this. Trust me, you won't be sorry.

Read the Epinions review here!


Notes from the playlist: "You're the One" by Rev Theory